


Ant’s Stag Do One Shot (Are You Sure We Can’t Have Sex Tonight?)

by nowhere_blake



Category: Ant & Dec RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 22:31:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3427904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowhere_blake/pseuds/nowhere_blake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The aftermath of Ant’s stag do. Drunk boys trying to make important decisions. Angsty, but cuteness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ant’s Stag Do One Shot (Are You Sure We Can’t Have Sex Tonight?)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for until-the-colours-run 's prompt on tumblr: http://until-the-colours-run.tumblr.com/post/105893100531/ok-i-really-want-need-someone-to-write-a-fic

After establishing the fact that someone  _is_  finding and more importantly  _getting_  Lisa’s father from wherever he is in Central London and after saying goodbye to all the lads and Lisa (she is still smiling jovially at them despite of the whole forgetting about the future father-in-law incident), they head towards Dec’s house. It takes at least ten minutes for Dec to find his keys and another four to open the door. He pretty much falls inside rather than walks and – judging by the noises coming from behind him – Ant’s not in a much better state.

'Fuck, I'm drunk,' Dec says, because he feels like sharing his thoughts with Ant.

'Aye,' Ant comments, although it kind of comes out as a groan.

They stumble into the living room, and collapse on the sofa, pretty much on top of each other. Ant’s still wearing some bits of his French maid outfit (he lost the blonde wig at some point though and thank god for that) and for some reason Dec finds this absolutely hilarious. He can’t stop laughing for minutes and it eventually gets to the point where he’s pretty much suffocating.

'What are youse laughing about, Decky?' Ant asks about five minutes later and that finally makes Dec stop choking.

'You,' he manages, but by the time he answers, Ant honestly doesn't even remember the question, so the conversation comes to an abrupt end.

They lie there on the sofa silently for a minute, or it could be half an hour actually – no sense of time whatsoever, way too drunk for that -, Dec breathing into Ant’s warm shoulder, and Ant trying to get Dec’s hair out of his mouth.

'Did ya have a good stag do, Anty?' Dec asks, giggling stupidly, as he starts untangling himself from Ant, trying to sit up.

'Aye,' Ant mumbles as he sits up too, feeling a bit dizzy. 'Thank you for planning it,' he adds and stares at Dec with a lazy smile. His eyes seem to shift then and he's looking at Dec's lips with a mesmerised expression. 'It was amazing, Decs – thank you,' he says again and then – without any sort of hesitation – leans forward and kisses Dec.

It’s a horrible kiss; dry and uncomfortable, not mentioning that they are both drunk out of their minds. That’s not the reason Dec pulls away though.

'What are you doing?' he asks, catching his breath.

'Thanking you for the stag do,' Ant says, trying to sound as innocent as he can, then leans back in to kiss Dec again.

Dec shakes his head and places a steady hand on Ant’s chest, keeping him away from his mouth. He then starts thinking; his face lights up when he gets to a conclusion. ‘I’m pretty sure, you’re just trying to have sex with me,’ he tells Ant about his discovery.

Ant hesitates for a moment, as if trying to come up with a lie or an excuse, or an acceptable explanation, but then he just shrugs, ‘Yeah, I might be,’ he says casually.

'Ant,' Dec says and tries to sound firm, 'We can't.'

'Oh, come on man!' Ant starts whining, making a desperate little motion with his hand, 'Decky, it's my stag do!' he says in a high-pitched voice and – in his current state – Dec finds his reasoning quite… well, reasonable.

'Yeah, I know, but we can't. We can't, we can't, we can't.'

'Why?' Ant asks, with the tone of a child whose toy has just been taken away.

Dec looks at him angrily and he can’t help, but raise his voice, ‘Because you’re getting fucking married, Ant, that’s fucking why!’

Ant just blinks at him, he seems a bit confused. ‘You’re shouting,’ he tells him, ‘I don’t like it when you’re shouting.’

Dec sighs, ‘We talked about this, Ant,’ he says in a sing-song voice and he suddenly feels so so tired. ‘We agreed; no more shagging.’

Ant looks even more confused than before and he lets himself fall back down onto the sofa, as if ready to give up trying to understand what they are having a conversation about, ‘Even Lisa?’

'Jesus- No, of course, you can shag Lisa – she's the one you're marrying.'

'That's why I can't shag you,' Ant says slowly as he's starting to put the pieces together, 'Because I'm marrying her.'

'Yes,' Dec nods and throws himself down right next to Ant. They are close; their shoulders are brushing and he can hear Ant breathe in loud and clear.

'That's stupid, Declan,' Ant states stubbornly and god, he's so drunk.

'No, Ant, actually, it's quite reasonable,' Dec mumbles sleepily, kind of giving up on the argument, almost closing his eyes.

'So if we have the wedding, I can never sleep with you again,' Ant finally concludes.

'Yes, that's what we said,' Dec suppresses a yawn, 'Actually, you're the one who insisted. You were talking about morals and stuff.'

'We have to call off the wedding then!' Ant says, and he looks like someone who just figured out the meaning of life.

Dec laughs, but there is no joy in it, ‘Yeah, no, that is not happening.’

Ant looks so fucking disappointed for a second that Dec wants to punch himself in the face. He then drops his head on Dec’s shoulder and he sounds close to tears as he whispers, ‘But I love you, Decky.’

Dec frowns. Ant is drunker than he thought if all this sentimental crap is coming out this easy. ‘Yeah, I know,’ he whispers back, voice almost breaking. God,  _he_ 's drunker than he thought too. 'You can love me even if you have the wedding though,' he tells him, trying to keep his tone light.

Ant lets out a relieved sigh, ‘Oh, that’s all okay then.’

'Yeah,' Dec says with a sad smile, 'It's all  _okay_.’ He feels a lot more sober now than he did a minute ago. A hell of a lot more depressed as well.

'Wait,' Ant suddenly straightens up and puts a hand on Dec's thigh, 'I'm not married yet,' he states, then he frowns a bit and looks up at Dec, 'Right?'

Dec’s shaking his head, amused. ‘No, you’re not married yet.’

Ant gropes Dec thigh in a pretty committed way, ‘Okay, so why can’t we have sex now?’ he asks, kind of nonplussed, while his other hand is moving up to Dec’s waist.

Dec is drunk enough to give Ant a rant about it, even though, he knows, he shouldn’t. ‘I don’t know, Ant – why do you think I’m the one in charge of moral around here?’ he asks, angrily, ‘I want to fuck you, wife or not, and I’m not gonna resist for very long, ‘cause fuck you, this is not my task or whatever, it’s  _your_  job to be a good husband, so yeah. You decide: you can get yourself together and be a faithful fiancé or we can go upstairs and have really drunk sex,’ Dec finishes, because honestly, he’s just had enough of all this.

'Okay, so I only remember like half of what you just said, but I'm pretty sure, you suggested that we should have really drunk sex upstairs. I'm totally in. Let's go.'

'Oh,  _fuck you_ , Ant.’

'That's exactly what I was saying. Fucking. And you. And me.'

Dec shakes his head. He’s Ant’s best man. He’s not supposed to be holding him back if he wants to have a little bit of fun. On the other hand, he knows that they are not going stop at a little bit of fun. They’ve had so many ‘just one last time’s and countless broken promises. Stopping has just never worked for them. Except now it _has to_ , because Ant is getting married and there is only one thing that Dec wants more than dragging Ant upstairs and fuck him into the mattress. He wants him to be happy with Lisa. ‘Yeah,we’re so not having sex tonight, Anth.’

Ant looks up at him with big eyes, ‘Oh, that made me a bit sad,’ he reaches down, finding Dec’s hand and interlocking their fingers. ‘Can we sleep now?’ he asks Dec softly.

Dec watches the way his hand fits perfectly into Ant’s touch.

'Yeah, let's do that,' he murmurs distractedly.

'Can we be naked?' Ant asks suddenly, in complete seriousness.

'No, Ant, we can't be naked,' Dec replies weakly and he's laughing a little bit, because… Well, shit, what is he even doing trying to hold him back? He's just as drunk as Ant is. He wants this just as much as Ant does.

'I hate you,' Ant says and he leans even closer, burying his face into Dec's neck, leaving a sloppy trail on his shirt.

They stumble upstairs and somehow manage to strip down most of their clothes (Ant’s French maid apron’s pockets were full of McDonald’s fries which made things a little bit difficult) and get into bed. Ant curls up around Dec, hugging his waist, snuggling up close. He rests his head on Dec’s chest, his hair occasionally tickling Dec’s chin. Dec smiles. This is nice. This is good. This is  _them_. Ant smells like sweat, cheeseburger, alcohol and himself.

'I'm sorry,' Ant says after a while and his voice sounds almost completely sober now, 'I want to do the right thing. I just don't know what the right thing is.'

'Yeah, I know,' Dec nods, because he knows how hard and messed up this is and he understands that Ant has to think things through. 'It's okay.'

'It really isn't okay. Not fair to youse, Decky,' Ant says and Dec can feel his eyelashes move against the naked skin of his chest.

'Yeah, well, I'll live,' Dec answers dryly, because  _fuck_ , it really isn’t fair to him, but still. He would never ever blame Ant for it.

Dec moves up his hand to tangle it into Ant’s hair. It’s all so familiar and perfect; his senses are filling up with Ant and his warmth and smell and softness. Being drunk is not supposed to be pretty, but Ant can pull it off incredibly well.

'I love her, you know,' Ant breaks the momentary silence; his voice sounds a bit cold, almost defensive.

Dec swallows hard. Yeah, he knows. ‘What do you want me to say to that?’ he asks quietly.

'I don't know. Fuck. I wish…'

'You wish what…?' Dec asks him softly, when he doesn't continue.

Ant sighs and Dec knows that he’s just making all this stuff up as he goes along, there is no real thought behind any of this, ‘That we were teenagers again.’

Dec lets out a joyless little laugh, ‘What the fuck would that solve?’

'We wouldn't care this much.'

'But we  _did_  care, Ant. We cared enough to hide it,’ Dec argues, but the harshness of his tone is softened by the way he runs a hand down Ant’s back, tracing the line of his spine.

Ant shifts himself a bit, fingers digging into Dec’s naked skin, holding him tighter and closer, never letting go. ‘You’ll always be here, right?’ he asks and Dec forces himself not to think about what the desperation in Ant’s tone means.

'What's with the sudden cheesy romantic film shit?' he asks Ant awkwardly, trying to joke away the seriousness of the moment, before he could say something he will regret later. Something like how much he hates being the second choice. Or maybe something about how fucked up this thing between them is. Or that how fucking clichéd it is to have a July wedding.

'Just answer the fucking question, will ya?' Ant snaps at him, but he's still pretty drunk and the words come out slurred instead of harsh.

Dec closes his eyes for a moment, trying to imagine that it’s only him and Ant in the whole bloody world. ‘Yeah. I promised you already and I will promise you every fucking day for the rest of our lives, if you want me to. I’ll always be here. With you. For you. To you. Whatever.’

Ant laughs a little, ‘God, you’re so cheesy like.’

'You started it, to be fair,' Dec pokes him in the back teasingly, but Ant just laughs again.

There is another pause. Dec can tell that Ant’s listening to his heartbeat, and he feels like crying. It’s not really his style though, and all this dramatic shit is making him sleepy anyway. He considers saying something deep and meaningful or maybe even something funny before finally falling asleep, but Ant beats him to it.

'Love you?' it comes out more like a question than anything, but Dec doesn't mind answering, as long as Ant's willing to ask.

'Love you,' he says, smiling into Ant's hair reassuringly.

'So we definitely can't have sex?'

'Shut up, Ant.'

**Author's Note:**

> Original tumblr post: http://justrainythings.tumblr.com/post/105967934971/ants-stag-do-one-shot-are-you-sure-we-cant-have


End file.
